🎙️ EPISODE 041: The Only Gap Is Between Your Desire and Your Self-Image.
The True Nature of the Identity Gap
You think you’re wrestling with time, strategy, or bandwidth. But let’s cut the theatrics - that’s not your war.
Your real battle is the space between the woman you say you want to be and the woman your nervous system still believes you are. That gap is not logistical. It’s psychological, energetic, and somatic.
It’s the quiet internal split between the self who dreams and the self who doubts. Between the identity you present and the identity you actually inhabit. Between the version of you who wants more…and the version of you who doesn’t feel like she deserves to hold it yet.
And here’s where we bring in the some high performing truth bombs: the ones that teams whisper behind closed doors because they’re too afraid to admit what’s actually going on:
- 72% of team members say they’re not operating at their potential because they don’t trust themselves under pressure.
- 68% of leaders know exactly what they want, but don’t feel like the “kind of person” who can lead at that level.
- 82% of high performers experience self-image conflict when stepping into visibility, promotion, or transition.
These aren’t weaknesses. These are identity fractures.
What these numbers show us is simple and devastating:
The gap isn’t competence.
The gap isn’t intelligence.
The gap isn’t resources, strategy, or information.
The gap is identity.
It’s the misalignment between your desire and your self-image - and your body will always default to the image that feels most familiar, not the one that feels most ambitious.
This is why high-performing women burn out while holding it all together. Why they stall when they’re on the brink of acceleration. Why they sabotage when the next level is inches away. Why they plateau even when they’ve outgrown every job description written for them.
Not because they’re unqualified. But because their self-image hasn’t caught up to their desire.
This episode is going to expose that truth with surgical precision - and once you see it, you won’t be able to unsee the ways your old identity has been running the show.
The leadership edge you’ve been craving isn’t in doing more. It’s in becoming the woman whose identity matches the life she keeps trying to build.
How the Subconscious Blocks What She Consciously Craves
Here’s the part you do not want to admit. It’s the part you feel in your chest at 2am but refuse to say out loud: you want more, but you’re terrified of who you’d have to become to hold it.
Not terrified of the success. Terrified of the identity shift that success demands. Terrified of stepping out of the self you’ve mastered, the self that’s kept you safe, the self that’s been applauded, rewarded, and reinforced your entire life.
Because the subconscious mind? It’s not loyal to your future. It’s loyal to your conditioning.
It protects the identity that was built inside systems of:
- survival
- performance
- perfectionism
- emotional suppression
- people-pleasing
- hyper-independence
These are not personality quirks. They’re trauma-coded operating systems.
So when you reach for more…when you edge toward visibility…when you feel the pull to play bigger, speak louder, or step into the woman you actually are…your subconscious does exactly what it’s built to do:
It pulls you back to the familiar.
Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re “not ready.” Not because your desire is too much.
But because your subconscious only knows how to maintain the identity you’ve been practicing - not the one you’re craving.
So what happens?
You procrastinate on the moves that matter. Because your subconscious associates expansion with danger.
You chase more strategy instead of practicing self-command. Because looking outward is safer than looking inward.
You play small where you should be taking space. Because being seen has historically cost you more than it gave you.
You take action that contradicts your own future. Because the body pulls you back into old patterns even when the mind knows better.
You get overwhelmed, overstimulated, or flooded when visibility rises. Because your nervous system can’t anchor the identity you’re trying to step into.
This is not incompetence. This is identity preservation.
The subconscious doesn’t care about your goals - not even a little. It cares about the identity that feels familiar. Predictable. Safe. Even if that “safety” is suffocating your potential.
Until you become the woman who feels safe holding your desire…you will sabotage every expansion that threatens your current identity.
This episode is your chance to finally see that. Not as a flaw, but as the truth you must master.
Rewriting Self-Image Through Frequency & Repetition
This is the part of the work most women avoid, and I’m not going to let you avoid it. Your subconscious will not change because you decide to change. It will only change because you embody the woman you’re becoming.
You cannot out-think a self-image you have not rehearsed. You cannot out-strategize an identity your nervous system does not agree with. You cannot out-perform a frequency that contradicts your desire.
Identity recalibration - the work we do here - doesn’t care about your ambition. It cares about your embodiment.
You must rehearse a new internal image with the same consistency you practiced the old one. Because identity isn’t built through intensity…it’s built through repetition.
And here’s the high-level truth that’s easy to avoid:
Your self-image is not a mindset. It’s a frequency - a lived pattern inside your body.
It’s the way you think, feel, breathe, decide, respond, and expect. It’s the energetic identity your subconscious uses to determine what you’re allowed to have, hold, or lead.
So if you want a different result, you need to become a different frequency.
To rewrite your self-image, here’s what you must do:
🔹 Hold your vision long enough for your nervous system to normalize it. A new identity feels uncomfortable only because it’s unpracticed - not because it’s wrong. Repetition creates safety. Safety creates embodiment.
🔹 Practice the thoughts that match your future, not your past. If you keep repeating the same doubts, fears, and scarcity loops, you reinforce the identity you’re trying to outgrow.
🔹 Shift your emotional baseline from survival to self-authority. If you don’t regulate your emotional world, you’ll keep making decisions from panic instead of power.
🔹 Interrupt the autopilot reactions born from old conditioning. Your body defaults to what once kept you safe. Identity work teaches your body a new version of safety.
🔹 Align your inner conversation with the woman you’re becoming. If you talk like the past version of yourself, your subconscious listens - and it obeys.
Every version of you holds a frequency. Only one of them matches your next level.
This isn’t “motivation.” This isn’t surface-level mindset.
This is neurological and energetic reconstruction - and this is where you stop wishing for transformation and start becoming the woman who makes it inevitable.
Daily Recalibration Rituals
The woman you want to become is not created in the big moments - she’s created in the micro moments.
Daily rituals aren’t cute add-ons. They are identity stabilizers.
I need you to listen when I say this:
- Morning Frequency Lock-In:
A deliberate moment where you align your state with your future self rather than your notifications, stress, or circumstances. Fight the desire to start your day with your phone in your hand. - Power Checkpoints Throughout the Day:
Pause and ask, “Am I acting as her or as the woman who’s scared to disappoint everyone?” - Evening Power Down: Identity consolidation - close each day from the future, not the failure narrative.
- Somatic Anchoring: Breath, posture, and micro-movements that ground you into the body of the woman who feels like a match for her own power.
Without daily recalibration, her nervous system will default to the old identity every time. The body must be taught who you’re becoming.
Becoming a Match for Your Own Vision
This is where I tell you the truth you’ve been circling but perhaps haven’t been able to name: you’re not struggling because you don’t have the right strategy. You’re struggling because you’ve been trying to build a future from a woman you no longer are.
You want the vision - deeply, urgently, honestly. But you don’t feel like the woman who can hold it yet. And that disconnect between wanting and becoming is what keeps stopping you.
This is the entire point of identity recalibration:
You stop chasing the future. And you become the woman who already holds it.
That’s when everything changes. Because when your identity finally matches your desire:
Sabotage stops.
Your nervous system stops pulling you back into old patterns.
Clarity increases.
You stop second-guessing and start leading.
Decisions sharpen.
You know what’s yours and what isn’t - instantly.
Opportunities respond.
People feel the shift in your presence before you ever open your mouth.
Your authority rises.
You stop performing and start commanding.
Results compound.
Momentum stops leaking and starts accelerating.
Life gets simple.
Because your internal world stops arguing with your external goals.
Desire has never been your issue. Identity has.
And when those two finally align - when you become a match for your own vision - you become uninterruptible.
This is the moment you stop negotiating with your potential…and start embodying it.
If everything in you is stirring right now, good. That’s the part of you that’s done pretending the problem is strategy, timing, or circumstance.
You’re not stuck because you don’t know what to do next. You’re stuck because you’ve been trying to build a future from a self-image that was never designed to hold the life you actually want.
And that’s why the Magnetic Identity Blueprint exists.
It’s where you stop negotiating with the old version of yourself…and start becoming the woman whose identity matches her ambition.
Inside this program, we rebuild your self-image from the inside out - so your nervous system stops sabotaging what your soul keeps asking for. So clarity becomes your default. So decisions feel clean. So visibility doesn’t rattle you. So your presence, your leadership, your results…all rise.
If you’re ready to collapse the gap between who you are and who you’re becoming - and step into the identity that makes your next level inevitable…
Join me inside the Magnetic Identity Blueprint.
For full details, next steps, and to see if this is the right container for the transformation you’re stepping into, DM me on Instagram: @rewiredtorisepodcast. I’ll walk you through everything personally.
This is your moment to stop craving your future and start becoming the woman who holds it with authority.