🎙️ Episode 029: Your Desires Are Data from the Soul

Why Women Mistrust Their Desires

Women don’t naturally mistrust desire - we were taught to. Somewhere between childhood curiosity and adult performance, you got the message that what you want is dangerous.

Too loud. Too selfish. Too ambitious. Too much.

So you learned to mistrust the signals inside you. To second-guess the very thing that was meant to guide you. And now, every time desire rises - whether it’s for money, visibility, freedom, or love - you run it through the filter of conditioning: Is this appropriate? Will they approve? Will it make me look greedy, reckless, ungrateful?

This is why so many powerful women, even at the top of their game, feel hollow. They’re living lives built from approval, not alignment. They’ve silenced desire so thoroughly that even when they achieve the thing, it doesn’t feel like theirs.

Here’s the psychology behind it: your subconscious is wired like a heat-seeking mechanism. It moves you toward the image you hold of yourself. If that image is distorted - if you see yourself as unworthy, small, undeserving - then every desire you have gets filtered through that distortion. You’ll sabotage it, minimize it, or convince yourself you don’t even want it.

And then you wonder why you feel stuck. Why the clients plateau, why the money trickles instead of flows, why the relationship feels like a performance instead of a partnership. It’s not because you’re incapable. It’s because you don’t trust your own signal.

Let me make this clear: desire isn’t random. It isn’t indulgence. It isn’t weakness. Desire is soul data. It’s your higher self showing you what’s coded in your blueprint. And the moment you stop treating it like a liability and start treating it like instruction, you collapse the gap between who you are and who you’re meant to become.

So here’s the question I want you to sit with: What desires have you silenced because they felt “too much”? Because those are the exact coordinates of your next level.

The Shame Cycle Tied to Visibility and Money

Desire threatens the persona you built to survive. The persona that says, “I’ll stay small to be loved. I’ll dim my light to belong. I’ll sacrifice my needs to be respected.”

So when your soul whispers, “Raise your rates. Launch the program. Speak louder. Take up space,” shame fires instantly. Who am I to want that? What if they reject me? What if I’m exposed as not enough?

This shame cycle is especially vicious around visibility and money. Women who want to be seen are called attention-seeking. Women who want wealth are called greedy. So you create a compromise identity: successful enough to look impressive, but never fully expressed. Paid enough to survive, but not to thrive.

And that compromise becomes your prison. You keep building success that feels hollow because it was never your desire driving it - it was your defense against shame.

But here’s the reframe: shame is not proof that your desire is wrong. It’s proof that your conditioning is choking the truth. When you feel that flush of shame around wanting more money, more power, more presence - it’s not a red light. It’s the exact data point you’re meant to lean into.

How Your Soul Uses Desire as a Map

Desire is not random. It’s not just a spark of curiosity, or some fleeting distraction. Desire is the map your soul hands you. It’s your higher self saying: Here. This way. Keep moving.

But most women ignore it. Why? Because it doesn’t make sense to the logical mind. Because it doesn’t look safe on paper. Because no one else in their circle has done it before. So instead of following the map, they fold it up and put it away, and then wonder why they feel lost, unfulfilled, or burned out inside a life that looks good on the outside.

Let me be direct: the life you’re meant for will never come through logic. It will come through desire. Your soul doesn’t speak in spreadsheets and schedules - it speaks in longings. The desire to launch that business. The desire to raise your prices. The desire to be seen at a level that terrifies you. These aren’t coincidences. They’re coordinates.

And here’s the catch: when you ignore that map, you suffer. You sabotage. You repeat the same cycles, convincing yourself you just need more discipline, more strategy, more proof. But deep down, you already know. You’re suffering because you abandoned the map.

Your subconscious - this incredible cybernetic mechanism - is designed to move you toward a goal. It doesn’t care if that goal is survival or expansion. It doesn’t care if you’re building from fear or from power. It just matches what you feed it. Which means if you deny your soul’s map, your subconscious will build someone else’s life for you. A smaller life. A life that keeps you “safe” but secretly starving.

But when you treat desire as sacred data, you rewire everything. You stop asking, “Is this realistic?” and start asking, “Is this mine?” You stop measuring your worth against what others will approve of and start aligning with what your soul actually encoded for you before you even got here.

And when you move from that place, reality bends. Opportunities arrive faster. The people, the money, the ideas - they show up because you’re no longer broadcasting confusion. You’re aligned, precise, unapologetic.

So let me ask you this: What if every single longing that won’t leave you alone isn’t a distraction, but a map? What if the only reason you feel stuck is because you’ve been walking in circles, ignoring the coordinates you were given?

Your desires are not accidents. They are assignments. And the moment you treat them as such, you stop chasing and start leading.

Differentiating Fantasy from Embodied Yearning

There’s a difference between fantasy and desire. And if you don’t learn to tell them apart, you’ll waste years chasing illusions while ignoring the very thing your soul is begging you to step into.

Fantasy is escapism. It’s the quick dopamine hit. It’s the glossy vision board with no skin in the game. It’s you saying, “When I have the money, when I have the team, when I have the freedom… then I’ll finally do what I want.”

But here’s the truth: fantasy dissolves the second resistance shows up. The moment the first obstacle appears, the fantasy collapses - because there’s no embodiment behind it. It’s all surface. It flatters your ego, but it doesn’t move your soul.

Embodied yearning is different. It’s deeper. It’s the ache in your chest you can’t silence. The vision that won’t let you sleep at night. The thing you keep circling back to no matter how many times you’ve talked yourself out of it. That’s not fantasy - that’s a soul instruction.

And yearning doesn’t care if it’s inconvenient. It doesn’t care if it terrifies you. In fact, it usually does. Because embodied yearning requires identity death. It requires you to burn the persona you built to survive so you can become the woman who can actually hold what you say you want.

Let me make this practical. Fantasy is saying, “I want to be wealthy,” while still shrinking your rates and over-delivering to prove your worth. Yearning is saying, “I know I’m meant to hold seven figures,” and being willing to confront the fear, the shame, the conditioning that’s kept you at half your power.

Fantasy is external: it’s about how it will look, how people will see you, what approval you’ll get. Yearning is internal: it’s about how it feels in your body, how it aligns with your soul, how it transforms your self-image.

So ask yourself this: is what you’re chasing right now a fantasy, or a yearning?

If it’s fantasy, you’ll find yourself saying, “Someday. When it’s easier. When I feel ready.” If it’s yearning, you’ll feel the pull even when it makes no sense, even when your nervous system shakes, even when logic screams no.

And here’s the most confronting truth: the only way to honor that yearning is to become the woman who can hold it. Not someday. Not when you’ve checked every box. Now.

Because your soul isn’t dangling fantasies in front of you to tease you. It’s placing yearnings in you to direct you. And the faster you stop confusing the two, the faster you collapse the gap between who you are today and who you’re meant to be.

Action from Desire, Not Defense

Most women live their entire lives acting from defense. Defense against being rejected. Defense against being abandoned. Defense against being called too much, too loud, too ambitious. Even their success is built on defense - proving they’re good enough, proving they belong, proving they can survive.

But defense is still fear running the show. It’s survival in a prettier outfit.

Action from desire is a completely different energy. It’s not about proving. It’s not about protection. It’s clean. It’s intentional. It’s self-trust in motion.

When you act from desire, you don’t collapse when people disapprove. You don’t hesitate when fear shows up. Because desire is stronger than fear. It’s rooted in your soul, not your wound.

And here’s the secret most people never learn: acting from desire collapses time. You move faster, you attract cleaner, you execute with precision. Because you’re no longer battling yourself. Your body, mind, and soul are finally aligned.

So ask yourself: what in your life is being built from defense? And what could you create if you acted only from desire?

CTA

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