🎙️ EPISODE 20: Fear Isn’t a Stop Sign. It’s a Doorway
Why Fear Means You’re on the Edge of Identity
Fear isn’t a sign you’re in the wrong place. I believe that it’s proof you’re standing at the threshold.
Every time you feel it, it means you’re brushing against the death of the old self. And make no mistake: the old self doesn’t go quietly. She built her existence on control. On overthinking, on playing small enough to keep the peace, on contorting herself into the roles that won her approval. That identity is loyal, and she’s loud and she won’t go down easy.
So the moment you reach for something bigger - more money, more visibility, more power - your nervous system naturally lights up. I say this alot because we tend to automatically go to “what’s wrong with me” - it’s not because you’re broken. Not because you’re weak. But because the leap doesn’t fit the version of you your body still thinks is “home.”
That’s why fear feels like chaos in your chest. That’s why your breath shortens, your thoughts spiral, your entire body screams for escape. It isn’t truth - it’s a survival system trying to drag you back into the familiar because that feels safe - even when it doesn’t feel safe. The nervous system will always choose what’s familiar over what’s unknown. Until you change that.
Think of it this way: fear is the fire alarm of the past self. She senses she’s about to lose relevance, and she’ll set off every siren she can to keep you anchored in what she knows. Expansion means her death. And death - even metaphorical - is always loud.
This is where most women misinterpret what’s happening. They feel fear and think, “This must mean stop.” They label it as misalignment. They call it a red flag. They take it as evidence they’re not ready. When in reality? It’s the opposite.
Fear is the marker that you’re on the edge of identity. It’s the evidence you’ve reached the place where your old programming can’t follow you.
So the next time fear shows up in your body with heart racing, chest tightening, thoughts flooding please don’t mislabel it as weakness. See it for what it really is: proof you’re standing at the doorway of transformation.
Fear means you’re in the right place. Fear means the old self is dying. Fear means you’re brushing against the exact edge of who you came here to become.
Learning the Difference Between Fear and Intuition
Fear and intuition are not the same thing. But most women confuse them, and that confusion keeps them circling the same sabotage loop.
Here’s the truth: fear contracts, intuition directs.
Fear is loud, messy, urgent. It hijacks your breath, it floods your chest, it spins your mind into a thousand possibilities - each one designed to talk you out of moving forward. Fear screams “Don’t. Stop. Too much. Too soon.”
Intuition? Intuition whispers. It doesn’t argue. It doesn’t spiral. It doesn’t panic. It just says, “This way.”
Fear shrinks you. Intuition grounds you.
Fear drags you into self-doubt. Intuition simply points toward expansion.
And here’s the kicker: when you’re standing at the edge of a new identity, fear will always show up first. Because your nervous system is hardwired to defend the old self. So of course it’s louder. Of course it feels urgent. Of course it feels real.
But just because fear is louder doesn’t make it the leader.
Intuition is quieter because it doesn’t need to convince you. It already knows. It’s your inner compass, your direct line to the future self who’s already living what you’re scared to step into.
The challenge is this: most women mislabel fear as intuition. They say, “Something doesn’t feel right. My gut says no.” But what they’re really describing is the contraction of fear, not the clarity of intuition.
Because intuition will never pull you backward. It won’t sabotage expansion. It won’t keep you chained to the familiar. Intuition only points you in the direction of alignment - even when that direction terrifies you.
And this is where the truth cuts: if you only listen to what feels safe, you’ll mistake fear for wisdom and call it discernment. You’ll stay small and convince yourself it’s alignment. You’ll stay loyal to the mask and call it intuition.
Fear is your body defending your past. Intuition is your soul directing your future.
When you learn to feel the difference, you’ll stop mistaking contraction for clarity - and you’ll finally stop betraying the woman you came here to become. And this takes practice. This is why we invest in someone to coach us - it’s to help us get there faster, someone calling you into alignment over and over again until this becomes habit.
What It Means to Feel Fear and Still Move
The strongest women you know aren’t fearless. That’s a myth.
They don’t erase fear. They move with it.
Power isn’t found in waiting for fear to disappear - it’s found in walking straight through it.
Think about it: when turbulence shakes a plane, you don’t sprint for the emergency exit. You don’t shout for the pilot to turn back. You stay in your seat. You breathe through it. You trust the direction hasn’t changed just because the ride got rough.
That’s what it means to lead yourself with fear in the room.
But here’s the trap: most women treat fear like a stop sign. They interpret it as evidence they’re not ready, not aligned, not capable. So they stall. They delay. They negotiate themselves right back into the old self.
And then they call it wisdom. They call it “listening to their gut.” But what they’re actually doing is letting fear dictate the terms of their life.
You have to see it for what it is: fear doesn’t mean stop. Fear means threshold.
The women who rise aren’t the ones who feel less fear. They’re the ones who refuse to mistake fear for truth. They don’t wait for their bodies to calm down before they act. They let the shaking hands, the racing heart, the tight chest come with them - and they move anyway.
That’s the mark of real power. Not controlling fear. Not silencing it. But refusing to hand it the steering wheel.
Because the moment you learn to carry fear as background noise instead of a red light - that’s the moment your entire trajectory changes.
Fear was never meant to end your momentum. It was meant to mark the doorway.
Somatic Tools to Hold Power While Feeling Afraid
Here’s the truth most people miss: fear doesn’t live in your mind, it lives in your body.
When fear shows up, it hijacks your physiology. Your shoulders creep up. Your breath goes shallow. Your voice quickens, rises, thins out. Your entire presence shrinks.
And if you’ve ever wondered why people stop taking you seriously the moment you’re under pressure - it’s because your body has already surrendered to fear before a word leaves your mouth.
But imagine this: fear enters, and instead of collapsing, your body deepens.
Your shoulders drop. Your breath slows. Your voice anchors lower, steadier, deliberate. Your posture tells the room, I am safe. I am certain. I lead here.
That’s the shift. That’s the difference between a woman whose nervous system betrays her and a woman whose nervous system becomes her weapon.
It’s not about pretending you’re not afraid - it’s about embodying command while fear is present. It’s about teaching your body to hold the voltage of fear without shutting down.
Because once your body learns how to hold power while fear is moving through it, nothing outside of you can destabilize you. You stop being someone who reacts to the pressure, and you start being the one who defines the room under pressure. This is the real ninja move. The world around you might be in chaos, but you’re calm AF and nothing is knocking you off your path.
And that’s when people feel you differently. That’s when opportunities start seeking you out. That’s when fear stops being the thing that shuts doors, and starts being the doorway you walk through with presence, steadiness, and command.
A New Inner Dialogue for Decision Under Pressure
Your decisions under pressure are never about logic. They’re about the story you tell yourself in the moment fear shows up.
Most women default to the same internal script:
“I’m scared, so I shouldn’t.”
“This feels overwhelming, so it must not be right.”
“If it was aligned, it wouldn’t feel this hard.”
That dialogue is a lie. It’s fear masquerading as reason.
And here’s what you need to understand: the words you allow in your mind when fear is loud become the contracts you sign with your future.
Every time you tell yourself “I’m scared, so I shouldn’t,” you reinforce the contract that fear is the leader. That it gets veto power over your life. That it gets to decide how far you go.
But imagine a different dialogue - one where fear shows up and instead of folding, you speak to yourself like a commander.
Not: “I’m scared, so I shouldn’t.”
But: “Fear is proof I’m breaking through.”
Not: “This must mean stop.”
But: “This is the doorway. Of course it feels terrifying - everything I’ve ever wanted is on the other side.”
Not: “If it was right, it would feel easier.”
But: “If it feels this raw, this stretching, this exposing - it means I’m no longer negotiating with the old me.”
Fear doesn’t need to vanish before you move. Fear is the sign you should move. It’s the marker that the next choice isn’t being made by the woman you’ve been - it’s being made by the woman you’re becoming.
And here’s what I want you to sit with: every time you let fear dictate the narrative, you recommit to a past identity. You hand the keys back to the version of you that only knew how to survive.
But when you rewrite the dialogue. when you decide that fear is sacred initiation instead of a stop sign,. you begin to lead your life as the woman you came here to be, not the woman you were conditioned to remain.
Because in the end, fear doesn’t mean no. Fear means threshold. Fear means the old self is dying. Fear means you’re standing at the edge of everything you’ve ever asked for.
The only question left is: will you treat it like a red light, or will you walk straight through the doorway that was always meant for you?
NEXT STEPS
Head on over to the podcast page rewiredtorisepodcast.com/episodes and click on the invitation to learn how to quantum jump your identity right now. I can’t wait to show you how.