013 - Desire Doesn’t Live in the Mind

🎙️ EPISODE 013: Desire Doesn’t Live in the Mind

“Your mind will give you goals that make sense. But your body will give you the truth.”

This episode dismantles the lie that desire is a mental exercise. Real desire…I’m talking soul-level, frequency-aligned, unapologetic desire - does NOT come from logic. It comes from the body.

And if your body doesn’t feel safe with that desire…you’ll suppress it, sabotage it, or turn it into a performance metric.

We’re pulling the plug on that lie today.

Let’s rip the Band-Aid off:

You’ve spent years making “smart” decisions. Setting realistic goals. Choosing what’s strategic, sustainable, respectable.

And now?

You’re bored. You’re burnt out. You’re secretly wondering if you even want this business anymore.

Here’s the real reason why:

You’ve been making decisions from logic while ignoring the frequency of your truth.

Let’s break it down:

You say you want $20K months. But let’s be honest - that number wasn’t born in your body. It came from what other coaches are posting on Instagram.

You say you want to scale your offer. But deep down, it was never your offer to begin with. You built it to be “the smart thing,” not the soul thing.

You say you want more visibility. But your branding, your content, your messaging - it all sounds like someone else. Safe. Polished. Marketable.

But not honest.

And every day that you keep moving from that place, your body tightens. Your creativity dries up. Your execution starts to stall.

Because you’re building a business around what feels safe, instead of what feels real. And I don’t know about you - but I cannot get behind what doesn’t feel real, true, powerfully me.

Here’s where it gets deeper:

You think you’re being strategic. But you’re actually being self-protective.

• You’re choosing goals that won’t trigger rejection
  
  
• You’re choosing business models that won’t stretch your nervous system
  
  
• You’re setting targets that sound impressive enough to be respected, but small enough that if you miss them, you won’t feel ashamed
  

That’s not leadership. That’s trauma running the show with a productivity mask on.

This is why you feel like you’re in a loop:

Because you are. You’ve built a system where logic overrides desire, and performance replaces embodiment. You’ve created an identity that can win the game but feels dead inside while playing it.

And if that hit you in the gut? Good. It means the real you is waking up.

Let’s go even further:

Your mind, yes, it’s brilliant. It calculates. It protects. It strategizes But the mind is not where soul lives. The mind gives you goals that make sense. But your body gives you visions that change everything.

And the problem?

You’ve trained yourself to ignore that signal.

• You’ve learned to dismiss your “crazy” ideas because they don’t fit your funnel.
  
  
• You’ve shut down your wildest dreams because you didn’t see anyone else doing it that way.
  
  
• You’ve filtered your desire through what your audience can “handle” instead of what you’re here to actually lead.
  
  

This is how desire gets sterilized. This is how businesses become prisons. This is how success becomes a performance instead of a portal.

You feel it. You know you’re meant for more. You know there’s something inside you that wants to come out louder, deeper, more unapologetically…but every time you get close to it, fear hijacks your clarity.

You say, “I don’t know what I want.” No, babe. You do. Your body knows. Your soul knows. But your nervous system doesn’t feel safe receiving that truth yet.

So you shrink. You settle. You shape-shift into a version of you that keeps the peace but kills your fire.

Here’s the cost breakdown of building your business from logic alone:

• Your offers won’t sell - not because they’re bad, but because they’re misaligned.
  
  
• Your launches will plateau - not from lack of traffic, but from lack of transmission.
  
  
• Your systems will stall - not because they’re broken, but because the woman running them is energetically checked out.
  
  

You’re trying to scale something your soul no longer wants.

You don’t need more productivity hacks. You need to reset the origin point of your decision-making.

Because when desire is filtered through trauma, you build from defense, not from destiny.

Here’s the truth:

The business you want…the money you want…the life you crave…cannot be built from a version of you who’s still negotiating with fear.

That’s why you feel disconnected. That’s why your results are inconsistent. That’s why you’re doing “everything right” and still feel like something’s missing.

You’re not lacking clarity. You’re lacking permission to want what you actually want.

And that permission? It has to come from within.

Desire doesn’t live in your mind. It lives in your body. And until you listen to it,
everything you build will feel like a performance.

How Conditioning Filters Out Your Soul’s Ask

Let’s talk about the real reason you can’t hear your desire clearly.

It’s not because you’re confused. It’s not because you’re unmotivated. It’s not because you lack clarity or direction or purpose.

It’s because you’ve been conditioned to mistrust your truth. And that conditioning comes from toxic relationships with narcissists, family members who thought they were doing good but really boxed you in, friends who lead their lives through their limitations and fear…teachers, bosses… you name it. 

Let me take you back:

There was a time when you wanted something big. Wild. Loud. Unfiltered. You shared it. And someone said:

• “Don’t get your hopes up.”
  
  
• “That’s not realistic.”
  
  
• “Who do you think you are?”
  
  
• “That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”
  
  

And just like that…your desire became dangerous. Your brilliance became too much. Your clarity got coated in shame.

So what did you do? You started editing yourself.

• You made your goals smaller so they’d be more “realistic.”
  
  
• You chose safer paths so you wouldn’t have to explain yourself.
  
  
• You wrapped your ambition in humility so people wouldn’t feel threatened.
  
  

But every time you did that, something sacred got buried. Piece by piece, you started choosing what was acceptable over what was authentic.

And now?

You’ve built a life that “looks good” but doesn’t feel like you. You’ve built a business that sells but doesn’t satisfy you. You’ve become respected, but you don’t feel free.

This is what I call trauma-filtered desire.

It’s not fake, it’s filtered. Filtered through fear. Filtered through survival. Filtered through your nervous system’s deep, ancient need to stay safe.

So when your soul whispers,

“This is what we really want…” Your system goes: “Um, yeah…that’s not safe. Shut it down.”

That’s why you feel foggy. That’s why you say, “I don’t even know what I want anymore.” That’s why you jump from offer to offer, niche to niche, voice to voice.

It’s not indecision. It’s internal disconnection.

And it’s not your fault.

You were trained out of your knowing. You were praised for staying small. You were rewarded for being digestible instead of disruptive.

This is why desire feels painful.

Because deep down, you associate it with:

• Rejection
  
  
• Abandonment
  
  
• Not being enough
  
  
• Or being “too much” to love
  
  

So you quiet your voice. You filter your power and you reach for goals that won’t activate old wounds.

But here’s the raw truth:

You cannot fully express your power while still trying to avoid being misunderstood.

You say you want freedom, but your nervous system still fears what freedom costs.

And so, you trade soul for safety and you call it strategy, or you call it structure. But deep down, it’s still self-abandonment with a nice Canva aesthetic.

Let’s talk performance metrics.

Every time you operate from a filtered desire:

• Your messaging becomes vague.
  → You’re not saying what you actually mean.
  
  
• Your audience disengages.
  → They can feel the disconnect.
  
  
• Your sales feel forced.
  → Because the offer was created from fear, not power.
  
  
• Your income plateaus.
  → Because the version of you running the show isn’t in the room.
  
  

You can hire a strategist. You can optimize your funnel. But until you recalibrate the origin point - your identity and nervous system - your business will mirror the misalignment.

Because what’s built from fear, fractures under pressure.

So here’s what you need to hear: if your desires feel far away…if you don’t know what you want anymore…if you’ve built a version of success that quietly feels like suffocation…

It’s not because you’re broken. It’s because you’ve been trained to want what won’t get you hurt. Ladies, this was me for the longest time. And I had coaches all around me telling me that this was a simple identity issue. And I kept looking around me like something else could just make it all easier. That’s not the answer.

And now? You’re being called to untrain yourself.

Because the truth is:

• Your real desire never left.
  
  
• It’s just buried under layers of protection.
  
  
• And the longer you ignore it, the more your life becomes a mirror of someone else’s expectations.
  
  

Future-self leadership starts when you stop filtering your power. It starts when you stop outsourcing your clarity. It starts when you remember that the bolder the desire, the more sacred the assignment. And that’s what we’re doing here.

Listening to the Body’s Yes

Let’s get raw: you don’t need another clarity session. You don’t need another Google Doc of goals. You don’t need another brainstorm with your coach. I mean I could help you with all of that but you know we’ll always come back to your most true and authentic self. Because nothing else makes sense until you rewire that subconscious part of you that is holding you hostage. 

You need to feel again. You need to come back to the part of you that knows before your mind can justify it. The part of you that speaks in gut punches and goosebumps. The part of you that never lies…the body.

But here’s the thing:

Most women are so disassociated, they’ve forgotten how to recognize their own yes.

Why?

Because you’ve spent a lifetime in your head

• Overanalyzing every move.
  
  
• Forecasting every consequence.
  
  
• Managing perception before energy.
  
  

You’ve trained yourself to lead with logic and ignore your knowing. And that is never a good thing. The world is trying to make you forget who you are and don’t let that happen - your intuitive knowing is everything. 

Let me show you how this plays out:

You get an idea. Your body lights up. There’s a flicker of excitement. But before you can act on it, your mind kicks in:

• “Will this make sense to my audience?”
• “Can I monetize it?”
• “Is this scalable?”
• “What if no one gets it?”
• “What if it fails?”

And just like that, your yes is buried beneath a hundred micro-negotiations with fear.

Your body gave you the green light. Your mind slammed the brakes.

That’s the exact moment you broke trust with yourself.

Here’s the truth:

The body always knows. It will feel before it makes sense. It will respond before you rationalize.

But if your nervous system is dysregulated - if your body has learned to associate desire with danger - then even your yes will feel threatening. Pay attention to the associations.

That’s why you freeze. That’s why you stall. That’s why your “dream” business still feels like walking on eggshells.

Because it wasn’t built from a clear yes. It was built from trying to control every variable that could go wrong.

So, let’s get intimate.

• That tension in your throat when you try to raise your prices? Your body saying: “Not yet. We don’t feel safe holding more.”
  
  
• That low-grade dread before every Zoom call? Your body saying: “We’re out of alignment with this offer.”
  
  
• That heavy, sluggish resistance before creating content? Your body saying: “We’re still trying to sound right instead of be true.”
  
  

You keep trying to “push through.” But you’re pushing against yourself. It’s like you’ve got cinder blocks attached to your feet and you’re trying to take giant steps.

You’ve mastered performing. Now it’s time to master presence.

Because if your body isn’t a yes, then the universe isn’t either.

Let’s break this down like data:

• You take misaligned action → You burn out faster.
  
  
• You ignore the body’s no → Your work repels instead of magnetizes.
  
  
• You override your desire → You build a brand that feels like a job, not a calling. And that’s not why you got into the work you do.

Strategy is only as good as the identity running it. Execution is only effective when the energy behind it is congruent.

You’re not procrastinating - you’re protecting. You’re not unmotivated - you’re in misalignment. You’re not confused - you’re disconnected from your internal GPS.

The body is the original tracking system.

It measures:

• Integrity
  
  
• Desire
  
  
• Capacity
  
  
• Truth
  
  

And if you keep ignoring it? You’ll build systems that look good on paper, but collapse under pressure.

So here’s your recalibration:

Before you make another move, ask your body: is this a yes? Or is this me trying to be safe?

Because when your body says yes:

• Sales feel clean.
  
  
• Content flows.
  
  
• Opportunities land.
  
  
• You stop chasing, and start transmitting.
  
  

That’s what embodiment actually means: you’re not just saying the right words. You are the energy behind them.

And that’s when things start to move.

Identifying False Desires from Trauma

Ok, so now let’s stop pretending that all desires are sacred.

They’re not.

Some desires aren’t coming from your truth. They’re coming from your trauma. From the little girl inside you still trying to prove she’s enough.

And if you don’t know how to tell the difference? You will waste years chasing what was never yours to begin with.

Let’s get real:

That $20K month you’ve been obsessed with? I was obsessed with that, too. That might not be a soul desire. That might be your way of proving to your family you’re not a failure.

That “need” to scale fast? Might not be ambition. Might be you trying to stay ahead of being forgotten, rejected, or outpaced. It might be because you have an open root chakra and your sense of urgency is someone else’s.

That perfect launch you keep mapping out? Might not be a business plan. Might be your nervous system trying to control chaos because you were never allowed to feel safe in uncertainty.

Let’s call it what it is:

A trauma-coded desire is a performance rooted in fear, not a vision rooted in truth.

Here’s how to know you’re chasing a false desire:

• It feels heavy before it begins.
  
  
• You obsess over outcomes, not expression.
  
  
• You need it to work to validate you.
  
  
• It’s about how it will look more than how it will feel.
  
  
• You’re attached to it because of who will see you win.
  
  

That’s not expansion, right? That’s survival in disguise.

And here’s the kicker: your body knows the difference. Always.

A trauma-coded desire:

• Activates urgency.
  
  
• Tightens your chest.
  
  
• Feels like “I have to make this work or else I’m not worthy.”
  
  

A soul-coded desire:

• Feels like oxygen.
  
  
• It expands you and challenges you.
  
  
• It’s not about proving anything - it’s about becoming someone.
  
  

If you’ve been chasing goals that leave you exhausted even when you hit them…if you’ve built a business that gets applause but you feel numb inside...

It’s not because you’re ungrateful. It’s because you’re performing a version of desire that kept you safe, but never made you whole.

You wanted respect because you were dismissed. You wanted money because you were told you were a burden. You wanted to be chosen because you grew up invisible.

So now, your goals are trying to fix a wound - not fulfill a calling.

That’s why nothing feels like enough. That’s why you hit the milestone and still feel empty. That’s why you’re terrified to stop even when you’re exhausted.

You’re not chasing your future. You’re chasing closure.

Let me give you the hard numbers:

When you chase trauma-coded goals…

• Your content reads as forced.
  
  
• Your sales strategy is high-effort, low-conversion.
  
  
• Your launches feel brittle because energetically, you’re selling from a wound.
  
  

You attract clients who drain you. You attract results you can’t sustain. You attract visibility but you feel exposed instead of empowered.

Because the identity behind the goal is trying to protect, not create.

Your system doesn’t need more scaling. It needs a new signal.

Because frequency doesn’t lie. And when the energy behind the desire is “Please validate me” - you will build a business that constantly puts you in situations where you have to earn your worth.

Over and over again.

Here’s the shift:

Before you chase the next goal, ask:

• “Am I chasing this to feel worthy? Or because I already know I am?”
• “Is this a true yes? Or a reaction to an old ‘no’ I never healed from?”
• “Am I building from expansion? Or trying to finally outrun the version of me who was never seen?”

Because until your desires are clean…until they’re rooted in embodiment, not ego…until they’re free from trauma…you’ll keep chasing the next level and sabotaging it the moment you touch it.

And that’s the most dangerous pattern of all: becoming addicted to the chase, because stillness makes you confront who you really are.

This is why most women stall out after early success. Because the version of them that got here was built in reaction to pain. But the version of you who leads the next level?

She isn’t chasing anything. She’s holding everything because her desire is clean.

And once you taste that clarity? You’ll never perform for another goal again.

Moving in Real-Time from Frequency

Let’s be clear: your future isn’t waiting. You are. You’re waiting for a sign. For certainty. For clarity. For someone to cosign your knowing.

But I want you to pay attention to this thought:

Clarity doesn’t come before embodiment. Clarity is the result of finally deciding to move.

And most women aren’t confused. They’re disconnected from the version of themselves that already knows, already feels it, already has it.

And because they’re disconnected, they try to overcompensate with planning. With overthinking. With course-hopping, codependency, and spiritual bypassing.

You don’t need a new vision board. You don’t need another mastermind to ask “What should I do next?”

You need to stop outsourcing your power and start calibrating to your frequency.

Here’s the identity shift no one’s talking about:

You think when you “get there,” you’ll feel:

• More confident
  
  
• More clear
  
  
• More powerful
  
  
• More safe
  
  

But those feelings aren’t results. They’re requirements. You have to shift this thinking.

If you’re not building from the frequency of your future self, then every move you make now is still rooted in past identity.

• The version of you who’s still waiting to be picked?
  She’s the one building your brand.
• The version of you who learned to overachieve for love?
  She’s the one crafting your offers.
• The version of you who’s scared to take up space?
  She’s the one holding back your content.

So even when the strategy is “right,” the frequency behind it is off.

And that’s what is keeping you stuck in the loop.

Remember that you know who you are when you’re alone. When it’s quiet. When you stop performing.

You feel her - your real self - on the edge of everything and she doesn’t want a better funnel. She wants a better frequency.

She wants peace, expansion, resonance. She wants to feel herself in her work again.

So here’s your choice: keep building from defense…or start building from depth.

Keep chasing success that feels like survival…or start embodying success that feels like safety.

You don’t need permission; you don’t need more evidence. You need to move like the version of you who already knows.

Okay so let’s zoom out.

If your brand, offers, messaging, and positioning are all being decided from your current emotional state - you’re building backwards.

You’re trying to create a scalable, sustainable business from a fractured frequency.

That’s why you keep rebuilding. That’s why your content keeps changing. That’s why your sales feel inconsistent.

You’re not out of ideas. You’re out of alignment.

Strategy works when it’s rooted in identity. Sales land when the woman behind them is anchored. Execution becomes effortless when your energy is clean. That’s what it means to move from frequency.

And here’s what no one’s told you:

Your future self isn’t waiting for you to feel ready. She’s waiting for you to remember.

And the moment you remember who you actually are…you stop chasing outcomes and start transmitting inevitability.

You start selling differently. You start speaking differently. You start leading from the body, not from borrowed strategy.

This is the edge. This is the work. This is the recalibration.

And this is exactly what we do inside The Sabotage Shift Challenge™.

Because if your nervous system doesn’t feel safe with desire - you will keep building businesses that block what you’re meant to hold.

It won’t matter how good your idea is. It won’t matter how well your coach lays out the launch plan. It won’t matter how hard you try.

If your identity isn’t aligned with your next level, your frequency will sabotage the delivery.

And the most powerful thing you can do right now is stop chasing your future…and start becoming it.

________________

“If you’ve stopped dreaming, it’s because your nervous system doesn’t feel safe with desire. We fix that inside The Sabotage Shift Challenge™. DM me the word SHIFT on Instagram: go to @rewiredtorisepodcast and I’ll show you how to rewire the woman behind the performance - and finally move from frequency, not fear.”