Post Divorce: You Are Here For A Purpose. Remember that.
Nov 14, 2019
It’s amazing to me how men and women keep women down. It’s shocking, actually. And my heart truly expands when women, despite what is thrown at them, do what they need to do in order to survive, including designing an entirely different life, work their tails off, and then have the patience to see it through.
“Just stay the course.” This is a sentence that I said to myself so many times when I was homeless and 12 years old, sitting in the sunshine behind an abandoned church in the rubble, contemplating suicide. I had a piece of glass to my vein in my left arm, I was crying, and I had no idea how I was going to survive. I don’t talk about those days very often, but I want to impart to you that I listened to my gut, that voice deep down inside…my intuition, and I’m glad I did. “...breathe...just stay the course. All you have to do is make it to 18. Everything changes when you’re 18.” I spent the rest of my life after that moment holding onto that suicidal moment like it was my biggest shame. I hid it from the world. In fact, this is the first time I’m writing it on paper.
We go through a lot as women. We’re taught that we are secondary humans all over the world. And whether or not you personally felt it as strongly as another woman has, just know that as a collective, we are all feeling it all over the world.
So what’s the right course of action to reclaiming our lives after divorce? I think that it’s understanding ourselves fully and knowing that we are here on purpose and that we have a reason for living and that the secret to your purpose lies in what keeps coming up for you to deal with over and over and over again. Mine was transforming my life after adversity so that I could push myself harder and become stronger. What is yours?
When we look at ourselves as souls in a human body and not the other way around, we can see that we have work to do, because just like getting into any vehicle, we don’t do it unless we have somewhere to go, a destination. So why did your soul choose THIS body? This life? Why did your soul choose these parents? This journey? What is your soul trying so desperately to remember? What is the goal? Have you asked yourself these questions? When my son was little and just forming sentences, he casually looked at me and said, “mama, I’m so happy I choose you.” That one sentence sent me on a spiritual journey that has truly liberated me from continually victimizing myself. And trust me when I say that I needed that. Desperately. It helped me see what my life was all about.
I've talked about the power in community and women standing together to change the narrative and take control of our lives my entire life. The only way we can truly make a difference in this world is by being the example that we want to see. Growing. Learning. We must stop seeing our experiences as “good” or “bad” and start seeing them as lessons that our souls desperately want, then we stop feeling like our life is controlling us, and we start putting ourselves out there, pushing ourselves through the human crap that keeps us scared and fearful to live. Because we learn that the fear is the thing that we are meant to overcome so that we can be there for each other. You can’t be brave and fearful at the same time.
I’ll leave you with these thoughts and would love to know what you think by leaving a comment below. ♥️
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