🙋🏻‍♀️Who else wants an amazing life filled with love, unstoppable confidence and an exciting future?

Is the future of what is playing in my mind inevitable? I kept thinking about this - it was like it was on a loop every morning when I woke up. I was filled with this dread about my future. I was thinking "what if I am just fooling myself? What if I really can't pull this off?" My mind started playing games with me. I decided to start reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle because it was time. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and all I could think was: "Omg, Tanya - you've had breakups before. Let it go." The truth is that I had trouble letting go of any relationship. This was a problem I used to have my entire life. So this was good! I identified something that was going to help me: I had to learn to love myself more so that I could let go of what was bad for me, to let go of what I didn't really want but was afraid to let it go completely for fear of losing myself, too.

 

I began wondering how I could actually change my mind. Could I just decide to be a different...

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The Secrets to Goal Setting and Fulfilling Your Potential During & After Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through mostly because it caused me to stop running from myself. I completely lost my identity as a wife and mother and where I would fit in. All of my dreams for my future were gone and I had to start from scratch again. At 40! All of a sudden I could see that when I made the decision to quit my goals and my dreams and help him focus on his goals and dreams instead, that not only would the law not protect me financially, but now I was at a huge disadvantage and with small children, my time was so limited and the kinds of jobs I could get because of my schedule weren’t the kinds of jobs I thought I would need to get at my age, and with all of my experience. It was a massive slap in the face for all that I felt I had sacrificed. 
 
I won’t lie here. I won’t tell you that what I did by giving up my career to take care of my...
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Create Lasting Relationships the Right Way, the First Time.

When I finally decided that I was going to stop living inside other people’s ideas of how I should be living my life, raising my children, and pursuing my goals, I became free. It was a freedom that I had never experienced before. You see, my entire life, I had hid every single little detail about who I was and where I had come from, except with those who I trusted enough to divulge the dirty details. And even then, you could know me for years on top of years before I would tell you that I was born into foster care and that I was a homeless street kid from when I was 12 until somewhere inside my 18th year. I made sure that to look at me, you would NEVER guess those things about me. I wanted a fresh slate. I wanted people to give ME a chance for who I was, but what ended up happening is I started to attract other people who kept secrets and who weren’t emotionally free, and who would do whatever it took to keep those secrets. That is not what I wanted, not at...

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Get Rid of Toxic Relationships Once and For All

While I was married, I lived out west and I was surrounded by women who weren’t happy in their marriages. I was one of them and we bonded on how little our spouses showed up for us, we queried about who might be cheating, we laughed at how much more capable we were, and we cried on each other’s shoulders when times got tough and we were desperately unhappy. Things felt harder for me, in my family situation because of a lot of other reasons than just being unhappy, and because of that, I vowed that I would put an end to the misery I was putting myself through, but I had two small children and I imagined that if he wasn’t showing up for me at all as a partner, he would probably be 100 times worse if I were to leave him. I had to bide my time. When I moved back out east, I knew that the time was imminent…it wasn’t going to be long until we were separated and I had to face the world with two little kids who were looking to me to continue to be their...
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Your First Heart Break Post Divorce is AWFUL

Ahhhhhh okay…so we’re going to go here. I don’t talk about this ever. But I guess it’s time to go here with you because I want to be completely transparent and honest. And you should know that the desire to fall in love right out of the gates after a toxic relationship is real. And you almost can’t control yourself: you just want to be loved and admired and you want to feel something, don’t you? For me, it was an Italian man who lived 50% of the time in Sicily and 50% of the time in Toronto. He was so poetic and handsome and real and the way he described the world and his country and what he wanted for his life... gosh, I fell so hard that I visited him in Sicily and spent time with his mama making pasta from scratch and drinking homemade wine, and eating seafood from the ocean that was just down the street, and talking and laughing for hours using google translate. I mean, seriously... I was loving it, and they all...
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When will I know I'm ready to fall in love again?

When will I know I'm ready to fall in love again? Such a good question. Also another question is: when is it time to fall in love again? I get asked these questions a lot. My answer is always the same: it depends on where you’re at in your personal development and if you’re ready to show up on the same level that you expect a partner to. Soooooo often we forget that if we’re asking for a partner who is good at listening, is generous, loving, self less, kind, mindful, aware, takes good care of themselves, works hard..we forget that we need to be all the things that we are asking for. What makes you think that you’re ready and able to handle a relationship on that level UNLESS you are there, yourself? Because trust me when I say that I always asked for all these things, but then I would get them, and I would think “oooh…this guy thinks a lot about himself.” What I thought I saw was ego, but what I was really seeing was confidence. Because I...
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Post Divorce: You Are Here For A Purpose. Remember that.

It’s amazing to me how men and women keep women down. It’s shocking, actually. And my heart truly expands when women, despite what is thrown at them, do what they need to do in order to survive, including designing an entirely different life, work their tails off, and then have the patience to see it through. 
 
“Just stay the course.” This is a sentence that I said to myself so many times when I was homeless and 12 years old, sitting in the sunshine behind an abandoned church in the rubble, contemplating suicide. I had a piece of glass to my vein in my left arm, I was crying, and I had no idea how I was going to survive. I don’t talk about those days very often, but I want to impart to you that I listened to my gut, that voice deep down inside…my intuition, and I’m glad I did. “...breathe...just stay the course. All you have to do is make it to 18. Everything changes when you’re 18.” I spent the rest...
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